I am one for spicy foods. I absolutely love spice and have a pretty high tolerance for it. I wasn't about to jump head first into the challenge, but I was very curious to sample how hot these wings were. Lindy is no slouch when it comes to his food challenges, so I wasn't about to take this one very lightly.
My friend Teqas and I went to Redline to sample the wings. We figured we'd see how the test drive goes, then decide if we want to buy the car another day. There to support us were Wes, Jonny, Jen & Jon, Aaron, Ryan, Sam, and Vanessa. Not many of my friends are into spiciness, so I was happy to have Teqas attempt these wings with me. We ordered the dozen and signed a waiver before receiving the wings. I found the last of the five lines of the disclaimer to be quite amusing, basically stating "I am not inebriated or trying these wings as a drunken dare." Our server said no one had ever ordered the Death Wings in the few months she had been working there. She wasn't even aware there was a waiver process.
The wings arrived and you could instantly smell the spice on them from afar. The wings came with 2 plastic gloves that Teqas and I each took one of. Wes also wanted to try a wing and took one before Teqas and I even realized. After one, he immediately started yelling how hot they were and looked to be in pain. I let Teqas try his first wing and then I tried mine. At first taste it seemed really typical of any other hot wing I've had, but seconds later it hit me. I was overwhelmed with hotness in my mouth and couldn't stop drinking my Guinness (I chose Guinness for it's thick, milky texture). I was sweating and even almost started crying. There was a table near us who were watching us try these wings and laughing in shock at how much pain we were in. After the first wing, I honestly felt that I couldn't eat anymore, the pain was just too intense. I kept thinking, wow, there are 8 more of these fuckers and it's all just gonna go to waste. Teqas gave it some time and eventually tried another one. Our friends passed us some ranch from the regular wings they had ordered.
About 10 minutes later (what for me felt more like half an hour), I felt like I was ready to try another wing. I took a different approach than just eating the wing off the bone. I used a fork to wipe off excess sauce and pry all the meat off the bone first and make a little pile of chicken. I poured some ranch on it and then put it in my mouth. The second wing was much easier and the ranch certainly helped. I continued to work my way through wing #3, wing #4, and finally wing #5. Teqas was also trying to put 5 wings down. Jonny was the one who tried the 12th wing. After the fourth wing I was really hurting. I stopped drinking my beer but I was constantly sweating. I am not one who sweats easily, but I soaked an entire napkin with my sweat. I mustered up whatever strength I had left and put down the fifth wing without any ranch.
These wings were unlike anything I have ever had and I have had tried some really hot foods. Teqas ordered a bowl of vanilla ice cream while I continued to chug down beers and water. The ice cream tasted so great. However, after I had finished just 5 wings, I began to shake. It was like I had the shivers. I never felt like I was going to die, I just felt pretty uncomfortable lol. My friend Teqas' stomach started to feel upset and actually he didn't feel right for the rest of the night, not being able to pass out until 6am. My stomach felt some burn, but a couple hours later I felt fine. And to answer your question: Yes, the morning after I certainly had firebutt.
I don't know if I could ever attempt the challenge. Considering how painful it was to get through not even half a dozen in what felt like an hour, a full dozen in half the time would probably leave me feeling like hell. We did consider strategy and this is how I would approach the challenge:
1. Start by drinking at least a pint of warm milk before you get to Redline, preferably as close as you can get to before the challenge starts.
2. When the wings arrive, spend all your time peeling the meat off bones with a fork and/or knife and make a big pile of chicken meat.
3. Down all the chicken meat in one fell swoop.
4. Pray that you don't die 15 minutes later.
I'm really proud of myself for finishing 5 Death Wings. After how badly we reacted after the first wing, some of my friends were saying, "One and Done!" But Teqas and I rallied and we finished the entire plate. Although I had to resort to scraping off extra sauce, ranch, and beer, I honestly feel like I accomplished something great. Lindy's Death Wings are the hottest thing I've ever tried and I can now say that I finished five of them with pride!
