A forewarning for my readers today: this is a sad post upcoming. If you're not in the mood to read about tragedy, then I ask that you come back another time, or later when I'm back to posting about positive content.
I'd like to take a moment to write about my friend Pamela who was involved in a terrible accident last month and did not survive. Pamela is the wife of one of my best friends, Matt, and you may recognize their names from their blog that's linked on the right over there at Hesselblogger. Ironically, it was Pamela who got either Matt or myself into blogging to begin with.
I don't really know where to start or what is appropriate to say. I'm just going to start talking about my feelings. I guess my goal is to reflect on the fond memories and amazing character that was Pamela, one of the most remarkable women anyone could ever have the pleasure of meeting. Maybe someday Matt's kids will read this when they're older.
I met Pamela a couple years after I met Matt while I was attending the University of Arizona. Matt is an attractive man, so it was no surprise that the girls he dated in college were also attractive, and Pamela was easily the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen him with. I believe Matt started dating Pamela around our senior year of college and while it wasn't as serious yet, I remember her being around for some of the big parties my friends Richard, Justin, Shahruq, Sam, Chris, Eric, and Marty would throw. It wasn't until after I graduated from the U of A that I learned Matt would be sticking around in Tucson at Raytheon, so we begun to hang out often, sharing in that brand-new after-college lifestyle. Matt had been seriously dating Pamela for a while now, so I befriended Pamela and drew closer to the two as years passed in Tucson.
So many fun memories with both of them. Going out to "the Risky Cactus for some Moon Business" and watching Pamela be selected as a winner of $100 in the DJ's picks for best dancers of the night. Countless nights of playing video games over at Matt's house or partying at Pamela's apartment. It was Pamela that even got me into watching Grey's Anatomy, which I'm sure she had abandoned after the first few seasons but is still a show I watch to this very day. Pamela also came up huge and would help drive me to physical therapy, months after I had surgery to repair the torn ACL in my right knee. After a few years of watching Matt and Pamela together, I would joke about how perfect their relationship was and I was so proud and happy for Matt when he finally decided to marry her, making the best decision of his life. I was honored to be a part of their wedding, which I still remember memorizing Frankie Valli's song "Can't Take My Eyes Off of You" to sing for Pamela at the reception.
It became a little more difficult to hang out with Matt and Pamela when they eventually moved to Phoenix, but since my parents live in Scottsdale, I'd still try and visit them occasionally throughout the year when I was in town. Also memorable are the trip to Cabo they planned and invited me along, multiple wakeboarding weekends to Apache Lake, cabin trips to Payson, 2010 New Year's eve at Angels and Outlaws and 2012 in Las Vegas just a couple years later. While we lived in different cities, our friendship remained just as strong by keeping in touch throughout the many years. Matt and Pamela gave birth to two wonderful children: their first-born Ryan and their daughter Audrey a couple years later. Honestly, there's only a few friends of mine who I can say I was truly jealous of their great life and family, which makes what comes next one of the most depressing things I've ever experienced.
On the night of Saturday, November 12th, I received a phone call from Jon, a mutual friend I met through Matt. When he first told me the news, I was simply in shock. I didn't believe it was true and kept saying out loud, "no way, this is not real." Moments later, for the first time in about a decade, I cried for an hour, realizing that she just wasn't going to be around anymore. I've been pretty fortunate in my lifetime so far, and up until this point, I've never been close to anyone who died early for unnatural reasons.
I got a chance after a couple days to see Matt while his kids were recuperating at the hospital. Pamela came from a huge family and everyone was really helpful getting Matt through the process, spending time with Ryan and watching over Audrey. I didn't really know how to help or what to do when I was there, I guess I just wanted to be there and to see him.
A couple weeks have passed and I hear that Ryan is doing much better, walking around and playing again, living like a normal 3-year-old should. It seems like he'll be just fine. Audrey has awakened from a coma and has been moved out of intensive care, but I still worry about her overall recovery, since she took a big blow to the head during the accident. Matt remains hopeful, and fortunately for both kids, he is one of the strongest, most responsible, intelligent, and caring fathers anyone could ever have. The kids will be alright...
In one dark moment, this family's life was completely changed forever. It's depressing and no matter how I think about, it just sucks. I guess my take-away from all of this, is that you really do need to appreciate the preciousness of life and the relationships you have with others, because who knows at what point any or all of that can be taken away from you in this world.
Rest in peace Pamela, you will be forever missed.
In loving memory of Pamela Anne (Kieran) Hesselbacher, 1985-2016.
