Dealing with Racism: It Can Be Tough To Be Asian Sometimes...

It's 2:47am on a late Tuesday night.  I played my typical round of APA pool league at the Fox and the Hound earlier tonight, business as usual.  I got invited to go to a friend's house afterwards to hang out, and seeing how I'm usually in the mood to build friendships, I went, along with my friend Anthony.  Things were going alright, the host was very congenial, letting us play on his shufflepuck board and whatnot, and we chilled inside while getting ready to play a friendly game of poker.  After about an hour since Anthony and I had been at this house afterparty, my friend who originally invited us tells us that we should leave...I guess the notion is we're not really welcome here anymore.  Supposedly the host was not told that myself and Anthony would be arriving, and there was an argument between my friend who invited us and the host.

Now, usually I would just think that the owner of the house was no longer in the hosting mood, but people at this party were talking and some threw out the theory of racism (mostly based on the fact that he had Confederate flags hung along his walls).  While I have been exposed to racism before, Anthony came from a much harsher upbringing than myself.  He claims that South LA where he grew up was extremely harsh on the minorities, especially Asians who were such a small part of the population.  He also claims that he was held up at gunpoint before because of his ethnicity.  I for one have never had to deal with such extremities, but seeing how Anthony drove us tonight, he was ready to hightail it out of there.  In fact, he was ready to jump the wall and run, while I didn't think much of it.  I was like, I'll just walk out the front door here, say goodbye to the fella, shake his hand and thank him for having us over in his nice home.

What Anthony has been through is very unfortunate, but it's not without question that dealing with racism does happen and it is very depressing to go through.  While I rarely try to think of it and sometimes even forget that I myself and Asian (I just try to mesh with whoever I am with, regardless of their race),  it has come up in the past where I question whether or not someone dislikes me because of my race.  For example, going to the gym I have wondered if a guy won't let me work in with him on a machine because I'm Asian.  And too many times I have felt rejected by women because I felt they just don't want to date an Asian guy.

Fortunately, most of my friends of ethnic backgrounds have not had their lives challenged and I hope they never do.  However, it never fails to depress me when I hear about racial discrimination because I myself have been in the crossfire.  And I think it really just centralizes around the white dominated society we have in America.  People wonder why all Asians know each other, but the answer is sometimes very simple: we've all been through the same challenge of being a minority trying to survive in a non-Asian-dominated society.  It's simply the hard truth.

I once had a Caucasian friend tell me that he disliked going out to places where he was like the only white person in the room.  Welcome to my everyday life!  But I don't hold a grudge against anyone 'cause many only trust what they are familiar with, and so many have not been exposed to these types of issues.  Anyway, dealing with racism can be tough.  I just have to try and remain optimistic and trusting of strangers that it's not an issue, just so I can be myself and live a normal life.

Hey, at least my cat Duncan doesn't even know what the fuck racism is.  Love you Duncan!

Kyle's Wedding Weekend!

You know what's great about weddings?  It brings people together, especially those friends of yours who have moved far away and you just don't get to see each other as often anymore.  My friend Kyle, one of my longest friends since middle school, got married to Jamie a couple weekends ago! Congrats Kyle and Jamie!  I didn't blog about it right away though since he is one of my biggest fans and figured I'd wait until he was back from his honeymoon in Maui!

I got in on Friday night and met up with Chris, Jeff and Ashley, Nate, and Kyle Kinney at Goldie's.  Goldie's is kind of our neighborhood bar that we go to every time this group is in town. :) After a night of just drinking and catching up, I had apparently had too much to drink and went home with Jeff and Ashley.  But instead of going straight home, figures that Jeff and I would ask to be dropped off at the casino, heh. :P A funny story happened there actually, which is why I bring the casino up.  Jeff and I were playing Blackjack and after losing all but $7 of my chips, I went to the ATM to get more money.  When I returned to my seat, I noticed my chips were gone.  The two people to my right (one was Jeff) who had been playing there didn't notice who took the chips and the new guy to the left had no clue either.  The dealer was completely useless as well.  Normally, I feel really safe leaving my chips at the table, because the dealer will usually watch it for you.  Anyway, I talked to the pit boss, not really concerned about the $7, but just curious who would take it.  While they checked the security cameras, Jeff shouted out aloud, "You'd have to have some pretty big balls to have taken the money and still be sitting at this table!" The pit boss came back after about 15 minutes and told the guy sitting to the left of me, "Sir, you owe the gentleman next you $7."  This guy was apparently a bit drunk and kept insisting he didn't take it, saying things like "I wasn't even around here when that happened!" LOL! The pit boss had to have security come over and they were ready to toss him out and have him arrested.  Fortunately, the guy wised up and paid me $10 and me being the nice guy I am, I made amends and said, "hey, it was probably just an accident, no worries." I really wasn't upset, just amused.  If anything, I am disappointed that it happened because your chips are supposed to be safe if you need to walk away and use the bathroom but reserve your seat!  And apparently Jeff thought it was that guy to my left all along, he just couldn't prove it.  Hence his comical statements earlier. :)

On Saturday, Kyle got married to Jamie!  Ashley was nice enough to drive a bunch of us other, a luxury I don't get much...ever. :) I was really happy and enjoyed a wedding full of drinks and good times, seeing great friends that I don't get to see very often (Chris, Brian, and James to name a few), and meeting their amazing fiancés in person for the first time - Priya and Mariana for example. :) The venue was beautiful (but I guess they always are) and the Edringtons threw an awesome wedding!  With Chris and James getting married next year, that really only leaves me in the picture below as the lone single guy, a title I would probably take to my grave!

Another reason I enjoyed this weekend is that I limited myself to the friends I would see while in Phoenix.  It was really relaxing because I basically just spent a majority of it at Jeff and Ashley's.  I also didn't have to drive a ton - I actually made it to Phx and back to Tucson on a single tank of gas!

Congrats again to Kyle and Jamie!  And now I must go prepare myself for Johnathan and Kelly's wedding this weekend!