Tuesday, March 12, 2013

The Single Life (...Is Better Than Ending Up With Someone Horrible!)

I don't blog about it much, but lately I've been re-evaluating my dating life.  Some people say that you shouldn't push things and that things will fall into your lap when you least expect it.  I used to embrace that philosophy, but I'm starting to have second thoughts.  The characteristic I'm gonna focus on for this discussion is whether the girl picks me or I pick the girl.  The last four girls I've dated where the girl came onto me, it has turned out horribly.  One girl was a sorostitute, a stereotypical daddy's girl who wanted to be pampered like a princess, had two tiny chihuahuas she could carry around in her purse.  Another turned out to be a black-out alcholic, who you pretty much shouldn't have taken to Cabo because she would just passout from day drinking too hard, oh and then she cheats on you when you get back home.  Then there's the worst of them all, the literally crazy type that insists on cheating on you so hard and making it sound like everything was your fault, only to break up with you, get knocked up by someone else a month later, and decides a shotgun marriage (and not abortion) is the right thing to do.  The last girl seemed most sensible of the group, but when they pitch to you to join a pyramid scheme after four dates, you can't help but be deterred.

I know I'd like to be open about dating, especially when they ask me out (it's easier knowing they like you ahead of time), but I can't help but see the trends and patterns.  The girls I have gone after, while it obviously didn't work out, at least it never ended that badly.  The unfortunate problem is that I rarely meet anyone I'm even interested in anymore, which is a bad sign if you're rooting for me.  I'm not saying I'm gonna stop dating altogether, I think I just need to be more careful in my decision making.

Anyway, I don't want to just blog about myself today.  I have a friend who recently broke up with his girlfriend of 8-years and I can only imagine how difficult that must've been for him.  He has always been there for me, but because I cannot fully relate to what he's been through, I tried my best to cheer him up.  I decided to write him a list, which started in October shortly after the breakup and I finally finished it last week!

The list includes the time I sent each text message and you'll find that some of them may pertain to him or myself.  Basically whenever I thought of something, I sent it his way.  At first he thought I was getting these from a book, but I assured him that they are all Andy Lin originals. I'm happy with how it turned out and I think he enjoyed it as well! :)


30 Reasons It's Great Being Single
by Andy Lin

Author's Warning: The following material contains adult themes and may not be suitable for all audiences.  Reader discretion is advised.

1. I don't have a girl eating all my food that I want to eat! (Oct 25, 2012, 10:36 AM)

2. I can stay up as late as I want without feeling guilty about not going to bed at the same time as someone else. (Oct 27, 2012, 3:13 AM)

3. I can stay focused on exercising and keeping my body in good shape. No letting myself "go"! (Oct 27, 2012, 4:13 PM)

4. Don't have to worry about where you end up at the end of the night. (Oct 28, 2012, 3:19 AM)

5. I can sleep in without being interrupted because they have to get up early. (Oct 30, 2012, 11:22 AM)

6. I can go out and play wingman for my buddy. (Oct 31, 2012, 7:51 PM)

7. You can go to Day Glow and flirt with anyone! Yay! (Nov 2, 2012, 3:04 PM)

8. Can stay out late past 2am with friends and not have to head back early to Skype with someone...someone who might not even be there anyway even though she said she would! (Nov 10, 2012, 11:10 AM)

9. You don't run the risk of knocking up a girl and having your life change completely. (Nov 21, 2012, 11:44 AM)

10. You don't have to worry about going to multiple Thanksgiving dinners for each side of the family. Happy Thanksgiving! (Nov 22, 2012, 9:14 PM)

11. You nail the best man speech at your friend's wedding and then you nail all the hot broads who are gonna want you for your best man capabilities. :D (Nov 24, 2012, 11:53 AM)

12. You're less stressed out because you need not worry about anyone's life but your own! (Nov 29, 2012, 2:50 PM)

13. You can smoke freely and not have them get upset that you're smoking. (Dec 7, 2012, 11:13 PM)

14. Don't have to argue with anyone while I'm driving. So many couples fight in the car lol. (Dec 19, 2012, 1:29 PM)

15. No need to buy extra gifts. Merry Christmas! (Dec 25, 2012, 11:24 AM)

16. Don't feel guilty waking up in someone else's bed. O.o Happy New Year! (Jan 1, 2013, 10:55 AM)

17. Can go to the strip club whenever you want! (Jan 2, 2013, 9:08 PM)

18. Don't have to worry about someone borrowing my stuff and never getting it back. (Jan 7, 2013, 1:16 PM)

19. Don't ever have to feel jealous or betrayed. (Jan 8, 2013, 4:36 PM)

20. Don't have to meet someone's family, a family that might reject you anyways. (Jan 11, 2013, 2:16 PM)

21. You aren't responsible for someone else's terrible decisions. (Jan 12, 2013, 10:18 PM)

22. Don't have to take care of someone else when they've drank way too much. (Jan 19, 2013, 12:07 PM)

23. No need to cater your life around someone else's schedule. Do what you want, when you want! (Jan 19, 2013, 9:39 PM)

24. More money for myself! At this rate, retirement before the age of 50 is very doable! (Jan 21, 2013, 11:42 PM)

25. Don't have to worry about some jealous prick trying to steal your girl and sabotage everything. (Jan 31, 2013, 9:45 PM)

26. If you don't have any exes, you wouldn't have to worry about them awkwardly crashing your friend's party and causing unnecessary drama. (Feb 12, 2013, 1:00 PM)

27. It's Valentine's Day and I don't have to do jack shit tonight! Woohoo! (Feb 14, 2013, 11:22 AM)

28. No wasting time with foreplay. Rub one out, whenever you want, quick happy ending, and move on! (Feb 18, 2013, 12:57 AM)

29. No guilty conscience when you check out other girls, flirt, or hook up with someone new. (Feb 27, 2013, 11:16 AM)

...and the best reason to be single...
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30. When you finally meet the right girl, the one you can spend the rest of your life with, the one where #1-29 won't even matter anymore, you'll be available so you can be with her! (Mar 7, 2013, 2:02 PM)